When we were babies,
It was clear to us,
That someone was always meeting our needs.
We knew that we deserved security, warmth, loving touch, nourishment.
That when we are hungry,
The food will arrive exactly at the temperature, form and time we needed it.
We were born with full willingness to receive love.
At some point, the adults in our lives started to disappoint us.
They did not meet our needs.
Even if they wanted to,
It was not always possible.
Maybe as a baby, I wanted a hug,
Just when my mother was about to take a shower.
And I suddenly felt abandoned.
Maybe she was right there at home with me,
But I didn't know that.
And the feeling of abandonment was very frightening.
As a baby, I know that I deserve an answer to my needs,
And I do everything to get it.
I have trust in the adults in my life
To be there for me.
To love me exactly the way I need to.
Every baby knows he deserves it.
And being willing to receive love is a completely natural thing
Because as infants we are helpless by definition.
When our needs are not met,
We ask for them
Again and again
Whether in tears, words or gestures.
When we see we are misunderstood,
We begin to demand it, in a way of crying shouting and other behaviors…
Because we still believe in our mother and father.
Because we deserve security and inclusion and nourishment and warmth and touch and a sense of value.
When we do not get what we want repeatedly
We might think there is no point in trying again.
Because maybe next time,
When I ask or demand my needs,
They will not see me,
They will not listen or understand me.
And at that point,
There is no more faith within me
To get what I need.
And from that moment on,
I continue my life giving up on myself.
It is possible to live like this until a very old age,
When a part of me is broken inside.
"The freedom to say yes"
Reminds us of what we have already forgotten
Reminds me that I deserve love!
I deserve to meet my needs
I deserve to live a wonderful life.
It is the freedom to say yes to myself.
Asking, what will make me happy?
What pleases me, what thrills me,
What turns me on, what excites me?
What do I want to happen?
We can ask for it from our partners in life-
From our friends, loved ones, children, parents…
Even If the belief "I am worthy" was lost
It is entirely possible to reclaim it.
Asking and being willing to receive whatever makes me happy is my responsibility.
The freedom to say yes to myself
can also mean saying no to someone else
Or communicating my needs more clearly
It means choosing what works for me,
And telling it to everyone
Without being ashamed.